Any Suggestions On Dealing With The "Wussy" Syndrome?

[mudvnine]

Wow, several months ago I restarted our TB club after taking about a five month hiatus to allow the kids time to rest and recuperate, after what I considered "too much baseball, for too long of a time".

Many of these boys had been playing practically non-stop for about 14 months, with some of them playing with us and rec. ball at the same time. They were what I considered "burned out", so we slowed to one, maybe two games on Sunday and then shutdown all together just after Thanksgiving until after the first of the year.

Some continued to play during this time, finding other TB teams and some played other sports for awhile. When we regrouped, I had six of my original eleven return and picked up others through referrals or try-outs (we now roster 12).

Somewhere alone the way my once tough, play hard 11 and 12 year olds turned into a bunch of whiny, sulking 13 years olds. They whine about the weather, they play one game and their arms are sore, they slide into a bag and they skinned their knee, they ground-out on a close play and pull-up with "my heel hurts", blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. . . .

Now don't think I haven't identified where it comes from, I have stands full of parents who before the game feed the kids full of it . . . "are we really going to play, isn't it too hot?", "are those boys on the other team legal, they sure seem too big?", "coach, I know it's the third inning, but can Johnny have this hot dog, I think he looks hungry?", and so on, and so on.

By the time we make it to the championship game (in three tourneys, we have three runner-up trophies); you'd think these kids ran three marathons or something. We make sure they are hydrated properly, give them as much rest as the tournament schedule allows, and rotate them regularly so no one is pitching or catching consecutive games.

All of our pitchers are on a pitch count and not strictly the inning count allowed by the tournament. As it is, some of my pitchers are giving us one inning and complaining of some sort of pain or another. As I have always done, I remove them, not wanting to take a chance that they really have something wrong and exacerbating an unknown injury in a young ball player.

Seems that these kids and the parents forget that the other team we're playing had just as many games as we did and hey, what do you know, they play in the same temperatures that we do.

Looking for some thoughts here . . . what motivating things are you using when faced with this (if you are), do you think I'm too quick on the trigger in pulling my pitchers, or is all of this just the norm for the "new age" 13 year olds (never had this with my older son's teams)?

I'm looking for ANYTHING, I'm baffled, frustrated, and hope there is some help out there . . .


Thanks in advance,
MV9

[CoachHenry]

I'd say finish the season and question if you will do another. But that's for next year.

I'd say pull the parents together and tell them you notice that most of the boys seem like they aren't really into it this year and you are considering scaling way back with only the occasional tournament. When they ask why, give them straight, sincere, and professional answers. Don't make it seem like YOU are whining even if you are a bit.

If this group of kids have played too much together for the same coach too long, maybe it's time they got a fresh change in scenery after the season?

[DerekD]

I'd say that if you're making it to championship games with these players, then you're playing in some wussy tournaments. :cool:

Playing for 14 months non-stop may have been your mistake. They're probably thinking back about that and putting themselves back into that mindset maybe?

[CoachHenry]

I'll finish, sorry.... About what to do this year.... How about about 4 days off in a row to recharge? Have a bowling outing or a cookout to start the days off.

As for the arm pain, you have an obligation to take them out if they are complaining of pain. No way around that. If you don't feel they are possibly getting ENOUGH innings each then start using the bullpen to get innings in between starts. With teams that have a ton of pitchers this is a way to keep everyone strong.

As for the tournaments killing your kids, if for some reason they can't handle it or enjoy it, then schedule two double-headers, one on Saturday and one on Sunday to get in a good weekend of ball.

For some reason your team as a whole has lost it's spark. Maybe you have as well? That's for you to decide. But to me maybe I'd start with a string of days off from games with maybe a light practice on one of the days to keep the arms healthy.

[cosmo34]

Run em.

Then ask em if they feel as though they've earned the right to step on a ball field. Judging by how they've acted thus far, they haven't.

[CoachHenry]

Run em.

Then ask em if they feel as though they've earned the right to step on a ball field. Judging by how they've acted thus far, they haven't.

That is another tactic. You know your kids better then we do so it's up to you. Nothing wrong with being tough with them. Tell them that those that don't want to play can come to the games and sit the bench. If someone in the field is complaining about a non-injury then bring them off and put someone else in that has earned it.

[PhilliesPhan22]

Society is creating a generation of everyone-gets-a-trophy wussies. The parents just feed it. They all seem oblivious to the fact that they are destroying the future of this county.

[CoachHenry]

Society is creating a generation of everyone-gets-a-trophy wussies. The parents just feed it. They all seem oblivious to the fact that they are destroying the future of this county.

So no suggestions to help this guy? Just ranting the same rant?

[mudvnine]

I'd say pull the parents together and tell them you notice that most of the boys seem like they aren't really into it this year and you are considering scaling way back with only the occasional tournament. When they ask why, give them straight, sincere, and professional answers. Don't make it seem like YOU are whining even if you are a bit.? I like that idea, I may have allowed too much of the coddling from the parents without saying anything, so I'm at fault also.

If this group of kids have played too much together for the same coach too long, maybe it's time they got a fresh change in scenery after the season I thought that, but I have all of them there at every practice and they all talk about going to showcases and premier events. I've told them we would ONCE we started winning our local tournaments.

I'd say that if you're making it to championship games with these players, then you're playing in some wussy tournaments. Derek, not sure where you’re from, but we play in Southern California, where all of the legit tournaments (AAU, USSSA, USTBA, Triple Crown, CABA . . .) are far from wussy.

Saturdays we play fine, first game Sunday no problem, squeak by the semi, and then fall flat in the final falling to execute, sometimes even the fundamentals.

For some reason your team as a whole has lost it's spark. Maybe you have as well? That's for you to decide. But to me maybe I'd start with a string of days off from games with maybe a light practice on one of the days to keep the arms healthy.
You may have hit the nail on the head, I was asked to restart the team by several of the players/parents (including my son) and it took me several days to decide if I even wanted to. My patience may not be what it used to be and now the littlest things are starting to bother me.

Previously I had a coach who usually dealt with the parents and left me to coach; he is no longer with me (although his son is) and I don’t have the buffer I once did. I just asked one of the parents to be the team's “business manager” in hopes that she can deal with the clerical side of the team and lessen the time I speed running down money and coordinating other non-baseball team events, and so on.


Thanks for your feedback guys, all good advice that's making me think and see things from an outside prespective. :think:

[PhilliesPhan22]

So no suggestions to help this guy? Just ranting the same rant?

At least you noticed.

Suggestions:

1. Stick to your guns and keep your head up.
2. Pull the parents aside and professionally remind them who runs the show.
3. If all else fails, pull out (like someone else suggested)

How was that?

[Jake Patterson]

Society is creating a generation of everyone-gets-a-trophy wussies. The parents just feed it. They all seem oblivious to the fact that they are destroying the future of this county. This has been going on for years. My kids are adults and we went through the same thing

[Jake Patterson]

Somewhere alone the way my once tough, play hard 11 and 12 year olds turned into a bunch of whiny, sulking 13 years olds. They whine about the weather, they play one game and their arms are sore, they slide into a bag and they skinned their knee, they ground-out on a close play and pull-up with "my heel hurts", blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. . . .


Very common for this age group... A quick way to solve it is to sit those who complain. Or sit those players who parent's complain.

"Johnny looks hungry."

"Johnny! You're out! go see your mom and get a hot dog. No need to hurry back you won't be going back in."

You'll be suprised how fast the complaining stops.

[PhilliesPhan22]

This has been going on for years. My kids are adults and we went through the same thing

I am probably about the same age as your kids. Were we really like that? I know I didn't complain. My parents have always stressed working hard to achieve your goals.

[PhilliesPhan22]

Very common for this age group... A quick way to solve it is to sit those who complain. Or sit those players who parent's complain.

"Johnny looks hungry."

"Johnny! You're out! go see your mom and get a hot dog. No need to hurry back you won't be going back in."

You'll be suprised how fast the complaining stops.

:applaud:

I like that idea. But it could backfire and the kid doesn't ever come back. But then again, you may be better off without him...and his parents.

[StraightGrain11]

Sit 'em.
Make them earn their spot BACK.

Best coach I ever played for was my Pony League (13-14) coach. I'm 24 now, and a coach, and I remember asking him this winter what his "secret" was all these years to getting the most out of us (and the rest of his players), he simply told me this: "Tell them what you want them to do. If they don't do it, they can sit [with me] on the bench. If they don't like it, they can do something about it or quit." Maybe that's harsh, bet he ALWAYS stuck to his guns. He would sit his best (most talented) players if he thought they were giving him anything less than what he knew they had.

Sounds to me like they've got "Prima Donna" syndrome - they can whine and complain because there is no "penalty" for doing so. Sit them. See if the tune changes. When they ask you why they're sitting, simply tell them the truth: because they'd rather think about reasons for NOT playing baseball than just going out and playing hard. :thumbsup:

I pulled my groin BAD my senior year (the inside of my leg was BLACK from my groin to my knee), but I never told the coach because I knew he would sit me until it "healed". I also knew the only thing more "painful" than that groin would be picking the splinters out of my butt from SITTING and WATCHING instead of playing.

Go Hard or Go Home.

[DerekD]

Derek, not sure where you’re from, but we play in Southern California, where all of the legit tournaments (AAU, USSSA, USTBA, Triple Crown, CABA . . .) are far from wussy.

I wasn't being totally serious about my statement there. I think it's great that you can have these issues yet still be there at the end. Maybe your players should take a close look at the teams you're losing to and see that they're aren't doing what your players are doing.

[Jake Patterson]

I am probably about the same age as your kids. Were we really like that? I know I didn't complain. My parents have always stressed working hard to achieve your goals.So did mine and so did I. Memory is a funny thing... I tend to remember as a player (Late 1960's) us working hard, playing hard and taking the game very seriously or coach (dad) would run us to death. He likes to remind me of the time we were playing in the outfield with a dead bird and the time we had an outfielder stuck in a tree. Kids are kids no matter what generation or age. The adjustments that we feel may have occurred with regards to attitudes are minor.

My team thinks I work the hell out of them. When they flip on the kiddie button they're like managing a bucket of eels... at the end of the day they are just kids. What has drastically changed is me. The patience needed to tolerate and deal with the kiddies momments is waning rapidly as I get older.

[digglahhh]

I am probably about the same age as your kids. Were we really like that? I know I didn't complain. My parents have always stressed working hard to achieve your goals.

Your rant is misguided, IMO. The whole rewarding mediocrity dynamic is somewhat true. However, to some extent the alternative is to reward pedigree and circumstance. Regardless, kids know when they are being patronized. It didn't upset me, as a very good young athlete, that others got trophies too. Somewhat ironically, the idea of trophies for all is rooted in the notion of rewarding hard work, as opposed to simply results. As with most things, it's a delicate balance.

But as to the topic, I'm pretty sure we were all like that - to varying degrees. At 13 I was as interested in talking to my teammate's sister about her plans for after the game as I was about asking her brother if he would recommend I move up in the box.

Sports were basically my life until 12 or 13, at that point kids develop other interests too. Many go from smaller junior highs to larger high schools; they are exposed to more. The competition for the mind share gets harder at the early stages of puberty. To a certain extent, a step backward in focus at that age isn't exactly unpredictable, or inherently unhealthy for that matter.

[CoachHenry]

At least you noticed.

Suggestions:

1. Stick to your guns and keep your head up.
2. Pull the parents aside and professionally remind them who runs the show.
3. If all else fails, pull out (like someone else suggested)

How was that?

I notice, and agree with your views to a large degree, but just don't think it was helping this guy. I even like the way your socks look.

[mudvnine]

Memory is a funny thing... Kids are kids no matter what generation or age. The adjustments that we feel may have occurred with regards to attitudes are minor.

... at the end of the day they are just kids. What has drastically changed is me. The patience needed to tolerate and deal with the kiddies momments is waning rapidly as I get older. Thanks, I think you're right and I plan on reevaluating my outlook on the game vs. my expectations of 13 y/o's.

I really want to thank everyone who has responded to my request. Although the views varied greatly, the all made me pause and think for a moment, something that has helped immensely.

Heck, even just talking about it was somewhat therapeutic and with your thoughts, I'm even excited and looking forward to practice today, armed with some new, fresh ideas.


Thanks again,
MV9

[PhilliesPhan22]

I even like the way your socks look.

Thanks. I like to wear the "high socks" with my uni:)

[korp]

I am gonna go with the distance of bases ect for throws on why they are sore perhaps they are trying to do too much because its not like when they were younger ... assuming you changed distances like most do. You are right to remove the pitchers if they say their arms hurt ... why be the reason for any problems they would have down the road? As for the whining .... they are teenagers now some complain more than others. I guess you could have an incentive for if they win so many games or something like pizza or a major league game whatever ... something age appropiate that they would like. Not really much more you can do than that.

[BamaYankee]

Isn't 14 months straight a lot of ball?

Do you think you took enough time off?

My experience (little) with my son up until now has been seasonal. We haven't participated in travel or fall ball. Just curious.

[Nater44]

Here is taped clip I had recently on this topic with an Angels scout. May shed some light on the importance of avoiding "weinieness"

AUDIO CLIP (http://bmibaseball.com/blog/extra-innings-virtual-training/audio-clip-sample-branding-yourself-for-your-baseball-future/)

[mudvnine]

Here is taped clip I had recently on this topic with an Angels scout. May shed some light on the importance of avoiding "weinieness"

AUDIO CLIP (http://bmibaseball.com/blog/extra-innings-virtual-training/audio-clip-sample-branding-yourself-for-your-baseball-future/)

Nater, that was perfect . . . hope you don't mind if I record it and forward it to all of my players, it echos exactly what we talked about at our last practice. Thanks!

MV9

[mudvnine]

Tuesday, I took the advice of one of the posters and at practice didn't even take the gloves out of the bags, but instead found a shady tree and had a team meeting (parents included), about what the coaches have been observing vs. what we were expecting.

We allowed the kids to determine what type of team they wanted to be and at what level they wanted to play. Now mind you this team has the talent, just not the enthusiasm/passion we coaches expected, hence the runner-up status playing the way they do/did.

Well, lo and behold the kids recognized their demeanor and when asked how we should remedy it (with some prompting by the coaches) they all agreed that if someone slacks off and doesn't give 100% they come out; regardless if they are in the field with one out or in between innings.

I could tell a couple of parents were uncomfortable with that (we might embarrass little Johnny), but they didn’t say anything, so that’s how we’re going about it. We adopted the phrase “We either play as a team, or sit as individuals”, and all the players really liked that and I think it will give me something short and sweet to remind them of when we need that little pick-me-up.

We'll see what happens this weekend. :gt

[CoachHenry]

Glad you had an upfront talk with your players and kids. Make sure you do stick to your word. Some players will see this as an opportunity for more playing time and if they bust their hump and still see little Johnny in the linup when he's slacking he won't see the value in working so hard. "Coach still leaves him in there even though I'm working harder..." type thing.