What if it's not fun anymore

[Hawaii]

Aloha all:

Friend of mine's son is great youth baseball player (age 12). All-Star, good teammate, good kid, the whole package. Has been playing solid for years. He just told his parents he's not going to sign up next season. Reason: "it's just not fun anymore." He wants to play basketball instead. "It's more fun." Parents shocked--did not see it coming. The father told me he feels like he got punched in the gut.

Gentle reminder: we can coach them, and nudge them, and help them improve their technique, and work on drills, and it's easier when they are age 6-12. And then the pesky little critters start making up their own minds, even the ones who are having great success.

I'm sure everyone's heard a similar story--I have too, but this is the first time I've actually seen it happen to someone I know, so it's hit home a bit harder. When I go home tonight, if my son doesn't want to play catch, maybe I'll just let it slide . . . .

Any suggestions out there on how to help keep it fun as they get older?

[Jesse]

I was an all-star at 12 and quit playing because it wasn't fun anymore. A few years later (10th grade) I came to my senses and tried to make my H.S. team, but I'd taken too much time off and the coach didn't know me and I didn't make the team. So I screwed myself out of several years of baseball and I really regret it now.

My point, if there is one, is don't be afraid to push them a little bit. They may thank you later. I wish someone had talked me into playing one more year. I'm not saying force him, but don't just give up either.

Why can't he play baseball and basketball? Aren't they two different seasons?

[Whitesoxnut]

Any suggestions out there on how to help keep it fun as they get older?

By the end of July after so many games, which interfere with such important things as playing video games, its common to hear this from kids. Ive heard it from my kid a million times and each spring he cant wait for the weather to warm up so's he can play baseball.

Don't worry about "end of July'itis". After a month off he'll probably be dieing to play fall ball. Kids do get burned out and need a break. My buddy had the exact same problem with his 10yo last year. He had him in 2 leagues, fall ball, and a traveling team, the kid played over 60 games. Way, way to much for a 10yo. This year I recommended to him let the kid play in his one league, which he did. I also told him to use the spare time for the kids golf game, which he loves. The kid had a great year this year and baseball is fun to him again.

I try and give my kid one or two days a week totally away from the game. But this week he has hitting clinic every day from 9 to 12 and a game every night, with 3 or 4 games on the weekend. Next week he has 3 games and the other 4 days I wont even push him to play catch.

I think we all push the game onto our kids a little to much at some point. Its natural for parents to want the best for their child and see them play to the best of their ability.

[PullFactor]

My brother has been playing 60 Games/Year on a Travel Ball team for years now, and he's eleven. Practices three times every two weeks in the winter, spring and fall, and once a week during the season.
It has nothing to do with how many games they play.

[Captain Cold Nose]

My brother has been playing 60 Games/Year on a Travel Ball team for years now, and he's eleven. Practices three times every two weeks in the winter, spring and fall, and once a week during the season.
It has nothing to do with how many games they play.
Burnout most certainly has a lot to do with how many games you play. That goes with everything in life. You do something so many times, yes, you can get tired of it.
Taking a step back is always a good way to put things into perspective.

[PullFactor]

Burnout most certainly has a lot to do with how many games you play. That goes with everything in life. You do something so many times, yes, you can get tired of it.
Taking a step back is always a good way to put things into perspective.
Nah - If you're playing on a competitive team of good kids, it's more about the tediousness of practices in the winter than competitive games where everyone has fun.

[GeorgiaHoo]

[QUOTE=I think we've established that ca-caw ca-caw and tooky tooky don't work.[/QUOTE]


I thought that was a great movie.

[WonderMonkey]

If he is playing in a select league, maybe suggest to him to play in a rec league and just have fun? Have the dad work with him pre-season just enough to get him safely in shape to be throwing and such then just let the kid have a fun season. My nephew did that his 8th grade year. He played select for a number of years and the last year he did the team had problems and it turned into a non-fun year. He played rec this year and it was fun for him. No pressure. He didn't push himself much at all. Now he says he is ready to have a good off-season and play in HS. The "year off" probably did him more good then another season of competitive ball.

[wogdoggy]

Aloha all:

Friend of mine's son is great youth baseball player (age 12). All-Star, good teammate, good kid, the whole package. Has been playing solid for years. He just told his parents he's not going to sign up next season. Reason: "it's just not fun anymore." He wants to play basketball instead. "It's more fun." Parents shocked--did not see it coming. The father told me he feels like he got punched in the gut.

Gentle reminder: we can coach them, and nudge them, and help them improve their technique, and work on drills, and it's easier when they are age 6-12. And then the pesky little critters start making up their own minds, even the ones who are having great success.

I'm sure everyone's heard a similar story--I have too, but this is the first time I've actually seen it happen to someone I know, so it's hit home a bit harder. When I go home tonight, if my son doesn't want to play catch, maybe I'll just let it slide . . . .

Any suggestions out there on how to help keep it fun as they get older?


at 6 foot 4 as a freshman i was easily swayed to basketball as well.if i wasnt pitching baseball was boring to me.
when you get home tonite maybe you can school him in a game of horse

[Jake Patterson]

I'm sure everyone's heard a similar story--I have too, but this is the first time I've actually seen it happen to someone I know, so it's hit home a bit harder. When I go home tonight, if my son doesn't want to play catch, maybe I'll just let it slide . . . .

Any suggestions out there on how to help keep it fun as they get older?

I have seen it a number of times. The key is if it isn't fun don't do it. Forcing the child to play won't work - he'll resent playing. There are those whose enjoyment peaks early and they move on to other things. The best shortstop I ever coached quit after Little League. All-Star, League Champion, MVP the whole nine yards. He went on to become the top ranked Junior Amateur Golfer in Massachusetts and a top ranked golfer for UCONN.

There are several things you can do:

1. Speak with the players and find out what they're thinking. I give the players a post-season coaches' evaluation that has proved to be of extreme benefit. I let them evaluate me. The evaluation includes questions about how much fun they had. I would be happy to share it with you- email me at pattersonsports@yahoo.com

2. Give the kid a break - Let him determine when and if he returns. My youngest made the LL all-star team when he was 10. He decided to play soccer. I was crushed. He came back and still plays and coaches....

3. Table the decision for now and pick it up with him at a later date.

Hope this helps...

[Captain Cold Nose]

Nah - If you're playing on a competitive team of good kids, it's more about the tediousness of practices in the winter than competitive games where everyone has fun.
It's different for everyone. What you're saying could very well be the case for you and your experiences, but some people are just more into things than others and have entirely different viewpoints.

[Whitesoxnut]

My brother has been playing 60 Games/Year on a Travel Ball team for years now, and he's eleven. Practices three times every two weeks in the winter, spring and fall, and once a week during the season.
It has nothing to do with how many games they play.

If your brother is 11yo then how old are you? 13 ? Maybe you should listen to your elders and/or those who coaches/parents.

"Nothing to do with how many games they play"?:rolleyes:

[PullFactor]

If your brother is 11yo then how old are you? 13 ? Maybe you should listen to your elders and/or those who coaches/parents.

"Nothing to do with how many games they play"?:rolleyes:
Thanks for pulling the age card. It's funny that my "elder" (yourself, in case your aged, wise majesty managed to miss it) didn't have the insight to, instead of flaming me for the age, to disagree peacefully.
I'm fifteen, sophomore in High School. I've coached T-Ball and Machine Pitch for years now, umpiring for a couple, as well as been on what, six, seven, eight different fun ball, travel ball and all-star teams? I've seen it happen many times, and most of the time players become frustrated not with the games, but with losing, with their teammates (rare cases), and with bad practice times, too many practice times, and the like taking up their "time off".
I expect another shallow remark about my age, so when (not if) it comes, don't expect a response (or, WISELY, don't bother). I'm sorry that you're too conceited (blinded by the power?) to see that although I'm younger than you, I'm still entitled to the same right of opinion you, and your fellow "enlightened ones" are.
Maybe the cases you've seen are different, and that goes to everyone else who disagreed with me. Healthy disagreement is the spice of life, but, unfortunately, it seems like you've got more spice on your plate than anyone else cares to swallow.

[Whitesoxnut]

My brother has been playing 60 Games/Year on a Travel Ball team for years now, and he's eleven. Practices three times every two weeks in the winter, spring and fall, and once a week during the season.
It has nothing to do with how many games they play.

There was only one shallow remark here son, and that was the above one. Hopefully you learned something, that you cant take the experiences of one kid, your brother, and think it applys to all the other 30 million kids who play ball. Strange, when I was 15 yo, back in 1971, I spoke to my elders with respect. In fact I still do but times have changed havnt they? There are some coaches in this forum who know an awful lot about the game so I hope you stick around and do some listening.

Good luck with your high school ball. Frankly I think its great your coaching and "giving back" to the game. Thats a classy thing to do.

[Jake Patterson]

Maybe the cases you've seen are different...

"I enjoy talking to very old people. They have gone before us on a road by which we too, may have to travel, and I think we do well to learn from them what it is like."
-Socrates, in Plato's The Republic

"You have to piss with the puppies before you can bark with the dogs."
- SFC Norman Dutram, 242nd Combat Engineers

Pull, your input is very enlightening for a 15 year old. Well above your contemporaries. Keep providing your opinions I feel they add value to the threads, but bare in mind there are others here who have walked your road many, many times. It doesn't necessarily mean they are always right - just more experienced....

Keep learning

[PullFactor]

There was only one shallow remark here son, and that was the above one. Hopefully you learned something, that you cant take the experiences of one kid, your brother, and think it applys to all the other 30 million kids who play ball.

Just because I hadn't mentioned the other hundreds of players I've played ball with, or accompanied in playing ball, doesn't mean I based my opinions on one kid.

Strange, when I was 15 yo, back in 1971, I spoke to my elders with respect. In fact I still do but times have changed havnt they?

I don't know what gave you the idea, but I am very respectful of my elders. I am not, however, willing to be told my opinions do not matter, regardless of the circumstances. I agree, in your age, you must have seen more kids than I have, but, that was not my point. I'm sorry if I came across as unprovokedly disrespectful - it's a pet peeve of mine to be considered different because of age. Since this forum is the only medium through which we have contact, if it is of any matter to you (I would guess it was not), a search of my posts would reveal that my only post in negativity was that last one.

There are some coaches in this forum who know an awful lot about the game so I hope you stick around and do some listening.

Believe me, I plan to. Again - I can't see why you think I will not listen to anything an elder has to say.

Good luck with your high school ball. Frankly I think its great your coaching and "giving back" to the game. Thats a classy thing to do.
Thanks and thanks. I could have handled the disagreement without flaming, and I'm sorry for that. All things being equal, let's forget any of the negativity in my post, forget the argument, and instead focus on the discussion that was in progress.
Regards,
PF.

[PullFactor]

"I enjoy talking to very old people. They have gone before us on a road by which we too, may have to travel, and I think we do well to learn from them what it is like."
-Socrates, in Plato's The Republic

"You have to piss with the puppies before you can bark with the dogs."
- SFC Norman Dutram, 242nd Combat Engineers

Pull, your input is very enlightening for a 15 year old. Well above your contemporaries. Keep providing your opinions I feel they add value to the threads, but bare in mind there are others here who have walked your road many, many times. It doesn't necessarily mean they are always right - just more experienced....

Keep learning
I plan to learn. I'm glad there's one person, at least, who doesn't think my posts are a load of unbased crap. I certainly think they are sometimes. But that's what life is - mistakes and corrections. I understand there are people who are more experienced than myself, and I welcome, rather, encourage to hear their opinons, either to offer my own opinions in discussion, to agree, or to learn. And I will listen, as I would to anyone else, if not even more fervently.
I also understand that people may, and will not take me seriously because they think that I am nobody because of my age. I can tolerate that, but I would, at least, like the liberty of having the ability to post my own opinions. Whether or not people disagree does not matter. There's an opportunity to learn, to see another point of view, or to disagree, and make another point of view heard. IMO, none of those opportunities are anything less than good.
Sorry (to everyone) for any grief or misunderstanding I may have caused, and feel free to let me know if it happens again.
Regards,
PF.

[Captain Cold Nose]

Just because I hadn't mentioned the other hundreds of players I've played ball with, or accompanied in playing ball, doesn't mean I based my opinions on one kid.

I don't know what gave you the idea, but I am very respectful of my elders. I am not, however, willing to be told my opinions do not matter, regardless of the circumstances. I agree, in your age, you must have seen more kids than I have, but, that was not my point. I'm sorry if I came across as unprovokedly disrespectful - it's a pet peeve of mine to be considered different because of age. Since this forum is the only medium through which we have contact, if it is of any matter to you (I would guess it was not), a search of my posts would reveal that my only post in negativity was that last one.

Believe me, I plan to. Again - I can't see why you think I will not listen to anything an elder has to say.

Thanks and thanks.
Regards,
PF.
PF, while I did disagree with you, in no way did I feel you were disrespectful to me in the least. Bear in mind, I don't think Whitesoxnut was implying it was just the games themselves that cause the burnout, but everything that goes with playing those many games, as you've pointed out. The issue was you honing in on that one thing.

[Sparksdale]

Wow is this ever common. The same thing almost happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Talk about feeling like I had just been hit by a truck....man it really got to me. Not only that, I had just spent money (I didn't really have) to send my boy to a pitching camp. To my surprise, after the first day, he informed me he didn't want to go to pitching camp anymore. I could have died right there on that spot.

Maybe it was luck, I don't know, but here is what happened with my boy. He is 10 years old and has been trying all summer (I really should say all is life) to throw 55mph. He has thrown as high as 53 mph but usually 51 and 52. The second day of pitching camp the coach brought out the radar guns for the boys. My boy's first pitch was 54 mph! He had never thrown that hard before. His second pitch was 55 mph and a strike! He (and I must admit I did as well) went nuts. For the first time in his young life he had hit 55 mph and he was excited. That isn't the good part. After the throwing sesson was over the coach came over and talked to me. He said that my boy threw harder than 55 that he might have thrown as high as 60 mph. The way he explained it to me was the gun takes the speed of the pitch over the plate and my boy's pitch crossed the plate at 55 mph. He said that he probably threw about 60 mph out of hand and 55 mph over the plate. I don't understand all of that but I'll take 55 mph.

Ok what does all this have to do with your problem? I don't really know. All I know is my boy had a personal goal that he wanted to reach and when he reached that goal he really really began to love the game again. In other words it was fun.

Also, I might add that my boy plays basketball as well. Where I live basketball season and baseball season are not at the same time. So I say let your kid play both. When summer hits and he smells the scent of freshly cut grass he may get the desire to play baseball again.

One last thought: If you know someone famous ask them to send your boy an email (or letter). I did this for my boy. I contacted Chipper Jones agent and Chipper sent my boy an email. This really did wonders for my boy. To this day he talks about the email he got from Chipper Jones and he wants to be as good as him when he gets bigger.

Good luck.
Sparks,

[5LilPlayers]

There could be a lot of factors involved with his decision, as others have pointed out...to many loses by his team, too many games, etc.

However, it also depends on the parent(s). If they pushed him into it, he may have done it in the beginning to please them. Lots of kids like to please their parents when they're young, but again as someone else mentioned, as they get older and start making up their own minds, they start to get ideas of their own.

It could even be something simple like the cheerleaders. Maybe there's a girl he likes who cheers and he wants to play basketball to he can see her more often?

As the sports are usually played during different seasons, the parents don't push TOO hard, and neither sport is really expensive (glove...maybe his own bat, for baseball...and a basketball to practice with - you don't need "top of the line" equipment...go for the $30 bat instead of the $200 one, etc.).

His parents should try to GENTLY encourage him to play both...but if he really doesn't want to, you can't force a child without him feeling resentment towards those who push too hard.

[PullFactor]

PF, while I did disagree with you, in no way did I feel you were disrespectful to me in the least. Bear in mind, I don't think Whitesoxnut was implying it was just the games themselves that cause the burnout, but everything that goes with playing those many games, as you've pointed out. The issue was you honing in on that one thing.
I understand, but I only used my brother because he was an example. I could have mentioned myself, my teammates, other players I know, player's I've coached, the like.
My point was that on a competitive team, with kids that get along well, the games are usually the upside of their day. I can relate.

[PullFactor]

There could be a lot of factors involved with his decision, as others have pointed out...to many loses by his team, too many games, etc.

However, it also depends on the parent(s). If they pushed him into it, he may have done it in the beginning to please them. Lots of kids like to please their parents when they're young, but again as someone else mentioned, as they get older and start making up their own minds, they start to get ideas of their own.

It could even be something simple like the cheerleaders. Maybe there's a girl he likes who cheers and he wants to play basketball to he can see her more often?

As the sports are usually played during different seasons, the parents don't push TOO hard, and neither sport is really expensive (glove...maybe his own bat, for baseball...and a basketball to practice with - you don't need "top of the line" equipment...go for the $30 bat instead of the $200 one, etc.).

His parents should try to GENTLY encourage him to play both...but if he really doesn't want to, you can't force a child without him feeling resentment towards those who push too hard.
I agree, it could be any one of those. I find myself tempted to mention urban music.

[Hawaii]

There were a lot of thoughtful and helpful replies in this thread. Thanks to each and every one of you for taking the time. No reply to this necessary.

[Ursa Major]

PullFactor, allow me to toss my thoughts in about the value of your input. In short, please continue to post. As Jake mentions, you're very well spoken. I'd hate to think that "being respectful of your elders" means silencing your opinions. All us old guys talk about our coaching theories, and it helps to have a youth who's an example of the kind of kid we're trying to tinker with actually come out and be able to give us his thoughts. Helps keep us humble.

With that said, you don't need to jump down the throat of someone who "plays the age card". I think the reactions here give you some assurance that your opinions by and large will be given whatever credibility that their merits warrant. Overreacting to WhiteSoxNuts only decreases that credibility.

You're smart to add your additional experiences on which you base your opinion. Good analytical mind under that hood, for sure.

[TrojanSkipper]

When adults make the schedule for the season, because let's face it, it is the adults that do this. They should keep this in mind: When the season is over do i want my kid to be hungry for next year or grateful that the season is over???
50, 60, 70 games.... and you wonder why you lose a few kids along the way?

[Jake Patterson]

When adults make the schedule for the season, because let's face it, it is the adults that do this. They should keep this in mind: When the season is over do i want my kid to be hungry for next year or grateful that the season is over???
50, 60, 70 games.... and you wonder why you lose a few kids along the way?

Two 13 week- 20 games seasons is more than enough for younger players. They shouldn't be seeing 50-60 games until they're mid to upper teens and that should be at their request - not the parents.

[THE COACH]

He might want to look in the mirror and determine how tall he is going to be and will he want to spend all his time with those that will be playing basketball in HS and beyond.