Barry Bonds Caption Contest [Archive]

Ursa Major

03-01-2006, 02:23 AM

http://s95294420.onlinehome.us/userfiles/p1.barry.bonds.ap.jpg

"Now that Effa Manley has broken that glass ceiling at the Hall of Fame, I can finally be the real me."

OR

"The biggest problem? Hank Aaron insists that, if I become Brenda Bonds, I have to start all over again at number 1!"

iPod

03-01-2006, 03:06 AM

"Oops, wrong hormones!"

I really honestly don't see how anyone's going to top that.

BristolBoy

03-01-2006, 08:36 AM

'I feel pretty, oh so pretty...'

'I knew I shouldn't have tried that last cream Conte gave me!'

'When the baseball career bites the dust, American Idol here I come!'

'Maybe this way Moises'll give me some more lovin''

Gashouse6

03-01-2006, 08:41 AM

I was suprised when I saw this on ESPN this morning. I liked that rookie singing Enter Sandman.

KCGHOST

03-01-2006, 08:43 AM

'Yes, they are real!"

Brooklyn

03-01-2006, 08:58 AM

"Like I've been telling you, I just take what my trainer gives me"

Mattingly

03-01-2006, 09:45 AM

"Hey, who said women couldn't make it in the MLB?"

"Feel like a Natural WOMAN."

"Let me go powder up my nose before they start shooting closeups of me."

"I bet you were expecting the little woman, weren't you?"

"Don't let me slap you with that towel, dude!"

Captain Cold Nose

03-01-2006, 10:01 AM

"To Wong Fu. Thanks for everything."

GiambiJuice

03-01-2006, 11:20 AM

"Sometimes I like to bat for the other team."

"Don't hate me just because I'm beautiful"

Barry, I know 755 is considered the "sexiest record in sports" but now you've gone too far...

runningshoes

03-01-2006, 11:57 AM

"Does anyone else think I need a breast reduction?"

Kiefer

03-01-2006, 12:17 PM

Wow, another side effect of the steroids.:laugh

Uncle Dak

03-01-2006, 12:19 PM

Don't call me fat . . . cause I'm built for comfort!

Biggtone23

03-01-2006, 08:51 PM

Today the San Franciso Giants signed the third Williams sister Brenda. Serena and Venus are very proud of her.

or

After 10 years I'm finnally getting used to San Francisco.

Follow me to the Castro district

DownUnderDodger

03-01-2006, 09:37 PM

Anyone can have a bad hair day!!

wogdoggy

03-02-2006, 10:19 AM

its me silly serena williams bonds

VTSoxFan

03-02-2006, 11:22 AM

Guess who's going to go for the eyelash-batting championship this year! ;)

trosmok

03-02-2006, 11:35 AM

"I Left My (fill in) in San Francisco...":crazy

SoxSon

03-02-2006, 12:30 PM

"See? My new reality show will be worth watching!"

Williamsburg2599

03-02-2006, 12:41 PM

See kids,Steriods really do have site effects.
Turns out those injections were really Botox.

Sultan_1895-1948

03-03-2006, 12:08 AM

Barry is finally able to loosen up and be "one of the guys."

Chisox

03-06-2006, 06:10 AM

I don't know exactly how appropriate this is, but this without question the funniest think I've heard here in a LONG time, maybe ever.

trosmok

03-06-2006, 07:16 AM

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille." ~Barry "Norma Desmond" Bonds

Mattingly

03-06-2006, 07:16 AM

I don't know exactly how appropriate this is, but this without question the funniest think I've heard here in a LONG time, maybe ever.
If you can't have fun when Barry spoofs himself, then what can you do? I've seen a lot worse things discussed here.

trosmok

03-06-2006, 08:17 AM

Mattingly

03-06-2006, 08:21 AM

Rumor has it, shortly after Bonds retires, he's slated to star as Dr. Frank-N-Furter (the Tim Curry role) in an off-off-Broadway production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. :clapping "I'm just a sweet transvestite, transsexual, from Transylvaniaaaaah! :p
Wot-chu talkin' 'bout, Willis? :D :crazy

http://www.activitaly.it/immaginicinema/costume/imago/rocky_horror_picture_show.jpg

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:9w3eUle6MThM3M:http://www.mackenziegray.net/photo_franken.jpg
Mackenzie Gray as Frank'n'Furter in the
21st Anniversary Revival Production (Canada)

Don't adjust your monitor. Those guys really are pretty bad looking.

Catfish27

03-06-2006, 06:45 PM

"I heard that blondes have more fun, and this year I'm havin' me some fun!"

(Great captions, guys! :D )

DownUnderDodger

03-06-2006, 08:58 PM

Well San Francisco is the gay capital of the world!!

hellborn

03-06-2006, 09:21 PM

Just call the Psychic Friends Hotline now to speak to your own personal phone psychic! Only $2 per second...

Shoeless

03-07-2006, 04:47 PM

I really honestly don't see how anyone's going to top that.

29 replies later, still the champ!

chrismarullo

03-07-2006, 04:52 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ru Paul.

Chisox

03-08-2006, 06:40 AM

If you can't have fun when Barry spoofs himself, then what can you do? I've seen a lot worse things discussed here.

Oh, I'm not saying this should be closed or anything like that. I'm just saying that this is a topic that could easily get to that point (like one of those a lot worse.) This is still incredibly funny. (Of course, I'm a 23 year old male, so my sense of humor...you get the idea.) Then again, maybe I'm just worried about myself.:crazy

Mattingly

03-08-2006, 09:55 AM

Oh, I'm not saying this should be closed or anything like that. I'm just saying that this is a topic that could easily get to that point (like one of those a lot worse.) This is still incredibly funny. (Of course, I'm a 23 year old male, so my sense of humor...you get the idea.) Then again, maybe I'm just worried about myself.:crazy
I wasn't suggested closing either. Ahhhhh, a few posts are risque (gay capital of the world), but I'll deal with that. Actually, NYC (8.3 million population) has far more, but SF has a higher per capita, despite having only 3/4 million people.

Either case, Barry was having fun and so should we! :D :dance :p :waving

Chisox

03-09-2006, 06:08 AM

I wasn't suggested closing either. Ahhhhh, a few posts are risque (gay capital of the world), but I'll deal with that. Actually, NYC (8.3 million population) has far more, but SF has a higher per capita, despite having only 3/4 million people.

Either case, Barry was having fun and so should we! :D :dance :p :waving

We're on the same page.
And yes, we are having fun.
(How about comparing NYC's overall metro area of 22 mil to SF's 7?):D
On second thought....

Mattingly

03-09-2006, 06:16 AM

We're on the same page.
And yes, we are having fun.
(How about comparing NYC's overall metro area of 22 mil to SF's 7?):D
On second thought....
I don't know about that, but so long as the Gay Pride Parade is about 1 million strong, I'd say that NYC shouldn't be discounted for this. By comparison, St Patrick's Day in NYC is about 2 million, which is larger than Ireland's (which I think has about 1 million), and NYC's includes dignitaries who routinely arrive from Erin.

Still, I would say that while I've seen very large queens, I wouldn't say I've seen many (read "ANY") that look as buff and pumped as "Ms" Brenda here. :D

Chisox

03-10-2006, 11:17 AM

I don't know about that, but so long as the Gay Pride Parade is about 1 million strong, I'd say that NYC shouldn't be discounted for this. By comparison, St Patrick's Day in NYC is about 2 million, which is larger than Ireland's (which I think has about 1 million), and NYC's includes dignitaries who routinely arrive from Erin.

Still, I would say that while I've seen very large queens, I wouldn't say I've seen many (read "ANY") that look as buff and pumped as "Ms" Brenda here. :D

That's the first time I've ever heard Irish and "Queens" on the same side of a comparison.:D

Kind of funny that the last four, now five, posts have been us (moderaters) commenting on a topic that would probably be better going by the wayside. Wonder when the last time that happened.:D Fun, though, gotta admit.

Mattingly

03-10-2006, 12:26 PM

That's the first time I've ever heard Irish and "Queens" on the same side of a comparison.:D

Kind of funny that the last four, now five, posts have been us (moderaters) commenting on a topic that would probably be better going by the wayside. Wonder when the last time that happened.:D Fun, though, gotta admit.
You probably never lived in NYC. In fact, around 1990 or so, there was an attempt to have gay marchers have their own flag under the St Patrick's Day Parade. No "queens" though.

Sometimes my imagination is too fertile for my own use, so perhaps I'd better give this one the kibosh (before I get in trouble with myself). :p

Barnstormer

03-10-2006, 12:41 PM

Mattingly

03-10-2006, 12:53 PM

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I thought that I could never get to 755
I used to spend so many nights feeling jealous of big Mac
But then my good friend Greg told me how I could get him back

Now you see me! Somebody new! I'm not that wimpy 30-30 Pirate that you once knew....
Would that be his big brother or big sister? :D :crazy :p

UnderPressure

03-10-2006, 01:00 PM

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I thought that I could never get to 755
I used to spend so many nights feeling jealous of big Mac
But then my good friend Greg told me how I could get him back

Now you see me! Somebody new! I'm not that wimpy 30-30 Pirate that you once knew....

Oh man... I wish I could've thought of that. :laugh :laugh :laugh

Captain Cold Nose

03-10-2006, 01:08 PM

Sultan_1895-1948

03-10-2006, 02:19 PM

How bout a Bonds heikoo (sp?). 5 - 7 - 5 people.

Started skinny kid
Ballooned like a parade float
Now chasing record

johnny

03-10-2006, 02:31 PM

How bout a Bonds heikoo (sp?). 5 - 7 - 5 people.

Started skinny kid
Ballooned like a parade float
Now chasing record

Once a Little Bond
Mac Sosa Led him Astray
Now Buffed and Corrupt

:laugh :laugh :laugh

ESPNFan

03-10-2006, 02:40 PM

How bout we write a song about that Picture?

"Whole Lotta Barry"

I'm sure the AC/DC fan will appreciate it.

efin98

03-10-2006, 02:43 PM

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I thought that I could never get to 755
I used to spend so many nights feeling jealous of big Mac
But then my good friend Greg told me how I could get him back

Now you see me! Somebody new! I'm not that wimpy 30-30 Pirate that you once knew....

This one deserves the award for most original:laugh

how long did it take you to come up with this one?:laugh

Barnstormer

03-10-2006, 02:59 PM

This one deserves the award for most original:laugh

how long did it take you to come up with this one?:laugh

Thanks, it's a classic drag queen song and the lyrics just sort of came to me. Actually I was thinking of some more --

And now you're back...with your damn book
I don't really care, not even gonna take a look
I've heard it all before, tryin' to catch me in a lie,
But did I confess, did I lay down and die
Oh no not I! I will deny!
And as long as these biceps hold out I'll knock 'em to the sky
I've got more home runs to smash, I've got lots of cold hard cash
Bud Selig and the media can kiss my pock-marked a$$ !

that's all the inspiration for the moment

Mattingly

03-10-2006, 03:04 PM

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I thought that I could never get to 755
I used to spend so many nights feeling jealous of big Mac
But then my good friend Greg told me how I could get him back

Now you see me! Somebody new! I'm not that wimpy 30-30 Pirate that you once knew....
Oh yeah, is that sung to the theme of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive (http://www.lyricsdomain.com/7/gloria_gaynor/i_will_survive.html)?

efin98

03-10-2006, 03:57 PM

Thanks, it's a classic drag queen song and the lyrics just sort of came to me.

D'oh! I should have seen that coming- channeling the great Gloria Gaynor there!

trosmok

03-13-2006, 06:01 AM

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.....

That is absolutely hilarious on so many levels. :laugh
I'm afraid that infectious tune is going to be with me most of the morning, not to mention the burning sensation in my sinuses from the java.:clapping

Mattingly

03-13-2006, 06:10 AM

That is absolutely hilarious on so many levels. :laugh
I'm afraid that infectious tune is going to be with me most of the morning, not to mention the burning sensation in my sinuses from the java.:clapping
What? Sir tros finally coming up for a cup o' joe after all these years? :D

Hey, see #46 for the encore. :p

johnny

03-13-2006, 08:02 AM

Thanks, it's a classic drag queen song and the lyrics just sort of came to me. Actually I was thinking of some more --

And now you're back...with your damn book
I don't really care, not even gonna take a look
I've heard it all before, tryin' to catch me in a lie,
But did I confess, did I lay down and die
Oh no not I! I will deny!
And as long as these biceps hold out I'll knock 'em to the sky
I've got more home runs to smash, I've got lots of cold hard cash
Bud Selig and the media can kiss my pock-marked a$$ !

that's all the inspiration for the moment

:D :D
very very good.LOL if only we could get a weird al yankovich to do the song/video it would be worth it's weight in gold.

maybe on the night barry 'passes' :grouchy ol hammerin hank we could get fans to bring out their portable boom boxes and play THAT song.
:clapping

Elvis

03-15-2006, 04:35 PM

"Damn! They said these cow steroids had no noticable side-effects."

Mattingly

03-15-2006, 05:29 PM

"Damn! They said these cow steroids had no noticable side-effects."
Just who exactly are you calling a cow? Hi-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

http://www.toughpigs.com/images/anthnewstuff11aa.jpg

A lady like myself shouldn't have to put up with that.

-Miss Piggy :D

AznInvasion

03-15-2006, 07:21 PM

"I'm just tired... so tired... of hiding my deepest darkest secret."

"Damn Barry you've let yourself go."

"If this baseball thing doesn't work out, I'm gonna try and join Baywatch."

"Do I look fat in this dress?"